The Price of Betrayal?
PostedI have always wondered what sort of people would allow themselves to be sexually promoted online, and what sort of fool would take their bait. Is it some new form of prostitution, where one avoids disease by stroking off using their wife’s hand lotion as some bored frump types naughty things into an IM box? Do men pay a small fee (“we take Masterbaiter Card and IwishIhadaVisa”) or are these women simply so desperate and disease ridden that they would market themselves as sweet school girls that everyone absolutely loves and adores. What of those too good to be true men? You know the ones: they steal a friend’s picture and assume their roll, only it goes too far – they actually present themselves as that person during an affair that can last weeks or even months. Bob the Tubby just became Brock the Olympian. Such popular people; wherever do they find the time to break away from all those popular real-life friends in order to engage in a little online smut-o-rama? (I won’t touch upon the gold diggers or rapists who are looking to take more than they will give back.)
Of course, none of this would happen if certain men did not possess the brain capacity equivalent to a gnat. The average American male will allow himself to be ripped off and lied to all for the sake of cyber eye candy. I find it humorous. Perhaps a bit too humorous considering that one of my close online friends is a large gay male who poses as a delicate Asian girl. He freely admits that he masturbates as he types, knowing that the clueless straight man on the other side of the screen is doing likewise. (Oh ICKKK!)
Where does that leave us as a society? Technology is allowing us to become more and more connected but it also seems to destroy more and more lives.
- 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong. (MSNBC straw poll)
- 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity. (AP)
- Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery. (Divorce Magazine)
- One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs. (This Is An Internet E-Mergency, The Fortino Group)
- Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature. (Dr. Michael Adamse, PhD., co-author of Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships)
- Because of the anonymity, affordability, and accessibility of Internet sexual resources, the computer can accelerate the transition from "at risk" to "addicted," as well as the progression of sex addiction in those with a history of prior sexual compulsivity. (Cooper et al Survey)
- 8-10 percent of Internet users become hooked on cybersex. (Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com)
- Spouses who get hooked on Internet porn are a growing complaint among spouses filing for divorce, according to a survey of 350 divorce attorneys. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," said lawyer J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, which conducted the study.
- Evidence proves there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
- Evidence supports the existence of disinhibition, accelerated intimacy, and hyper-sexual online behavior that can easily lead to real-time infidelity
- 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex.
According to MenStuff:
- 57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
- 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
It begs to be asked: why do people stay with spouses who are caught cheating? I don’t know. Online relationships are a strange thing.
I have two sweet friends who have a casual online-only relationship. There is nothing sexual involved and they are not seeking to replace their spouses. In fact, they are friends first and flirty second. Their priority is not in ego or sexual gratification; rather it is that their families come first. They do not run around seeking partners to add to the cyber harem.
My second set of close friends are both female and they, too, have a relationship. They do not have spouses or significant others. They live in different countries. Their love for their work is first and foremost. They meet up every so often for a night of fun, pledge to continue to love each other and they go about their days. Neither worries that her lover will cheat on her with a person in their respective home countries.
My other friend faced a far more cruel life. She was a nice woman that used the Internet to expand her mind through college courses. She refrained from any sexual advances and vociferously pointed out that she was married. She was not happily married, however. Her husband is a cyber-addict who seems to spend his days looking at hot Asian woman and pursing relationships with other cheaters. I should point out that my friend had turned into a frump herself; she simply grew tired of his ways and she knew he would still run around behind her back no matter how sexy she was. She gave up on life. My circle of friends was stunned to learn that she had taken her own life this morning.
That brings me back to my initial thought: "at what cost...". What do we as people give up when we engage in frivolous cheating. How much dignity to we throw away when we broadcast ourselves in a way that depreciates us as a human being? Will the ultimate price be paid - the cost of the injured spouse's sanity and their own feelings of self-worth?
I actually got to the end of this Toni. What sad creatures we are.